My youngest child graduated from high school last month. This means I will be adjusting to an empty nest when she heads for college in the fall. Actually, the transition began gradually a few years ago when my oldest child enrolled at a local college. He spent less time at home than before due to school and work demands and an active social life. Another son went off to the seminary where he will be starting his fourth year in August, and my youngest son went away to college a couple of years ago. Sadly, my child rearing days are coming to an end...

As I think back to early parenthood and the time I first entrusted my kids to the care of their school teachers, I appreciate the opportunity they had to learn new things and make new friends. I believe in raising children to help them become self-sufficient and independent and strong in their faith. The downside to letting others care for your children is that they can be exposed to negative influences outside of family over which parents have little or no control.

Negative influences come in many forms.  My children were exposed to them in elementary school and beyond. I home schooled two sons for a short period of time when things got really bad. Here are some at the college level: date violence, drugs and alcohol, peer pressure, discrimination, and intolerance of traditional family values and religious beliefs.  At my daughter's college orientation a few weeks ago, administrators assured us that parental involvement contributes to student success.  That may be true, but how much parental involvement can there be if your child is out of sight?

A major source of frustration and irritation is the fact that if my child gets sick and needs to see the doctor, I have no access to her health records without her permission. Health care officials made this clear with talk of patient privacy, medical release forms, and FERPA (Family Educational Rights and Privacy), a Federal law that transfers certain parental rights regarding educational records to students when they reach 18 years of age.  At the health care center, contraception is readily available with and without a prescription.  If your daughter gets pregnant and has an abortion, you may never know it.  With this in mind, I thought I'd have a talk with my daughter at the earliest opportunity, which happened when we went shopping for dorm supplies.  The talk went something like this:

Me:  When you get to college, don't be surprised if some guy says your values are old fashioned and you need to try new things.

Daughter: Mom, you don't need to tell me, I already know, and you don't need to worry.

Me: You can expect these kinds of things to happen in a college environment, especially when you're away from home.

Daughter: Mom, these kinds of things are happening in high school. Actually, I saw them in middle school!

Me: We need to get you some pepper spray...